Homeowner says neighbor wants $2,000 to connect to her 2.5-year-old fence despite no earlier cost-sharing agreement, then they later discover the survey caps show the fence has been built on their property

A homeowner says their neighbor wants about $2,000 before allowing a new fence to connect to the one she built 2.5 years ago. The homeowner, under the username SoccerDu25, shared the situation in a post they shared with an online community for homeowners.

The homeowner explained:

My neighbor built a wooden fence between our yards, roughly 5 inches inside her property line and stopping well short of the back of our lots. 

She chose the contractor, materials, placement, and staining. She offered a group discount if I built my other side simultaneously, which I couldn’t afford then. There was no discussion of splitting her fence costs or reimbursing her later.

They went on to tell how they're paying for their own extension to this 2.5-year-old fence, and that they haven't asked her to contribute. The new sections they are building would be set within their own property. 

The neighbor's existing fence would party-enclose the homeowner's backyard, so the homeowner recognizes that they are benefiting from the fence that was built at the neighbor's cost.

But, in order to fully enclose their backyard, and to close that gap, they need to attach their fence to the neighbor's. Due to some tricky HOA rules, the homeowner would need to get written permission from the neighbor to connect to her fence.

But the neighbor is requesting $2,000, half the cost of building her fence, before she is willing to give this consent. 

In their own words:

Our HOA requires her written permission to connect. She wants approximately $2,000, representing half the original cost of the relevant section and staining, without adjustment for age, existing warping, or weathered stain. I understand it’s her fence and she can decline. I would not connect without permission.

Apparently, the neighbor herself has attached a fence of hers to another neighbor's. The homeowner states that they are aware that she declined to split the cost of a shared fence with an neighbor on another boundary. 

Then she simply attached her existing fence to the fence the neighbor built when they were finished without paying. The homeowner says that this hypocrisy is what really bothers them about the whole thing.

The homeowner said:

What bothers me is the inconsistency. According to her other neighbor, she declined to split the cost of their shared side, then later connected to his fence without asking or paying.

The homeowner claims that the neighbor says it was mutually agreed upon, but the neighbor on the other boundary says otherwise.

But, in order to have a completely enclosed fence, the homeowner now has to build a fence of their own, and they are wondering how to do this.

They explained their considerations

The practical concern with building a separate fence alongside hers is maintenance. My side yard is only about 7 feet wide. Her boards face my property, and some are already warped. Building too close would block access to stain or replace those boards and leave the facing surfaces between both fences inaccessible. Leaving adequate working room would sacrifice a meaningful amount of usable yard.

They considered building the fence with an 8-inch gap, here the homeowner laid out their current plan.

Instead, I’m considering leaving approximately 8-inch openings where my new sections would otherwise meet hers, subject to HOA approval, rather than building a duplicate fence alongside hers. I would continue mowing and maintaining the narrow strip of grass beside her fence, as I already do. Whether we connect or not, I’m still willing to arrange reasonable access, with advance notice, for her to stain, repair, or replace boards. I’m trying to avoid creating maintenance problems, not make things harder for her.

They state that they would have been willing to split the cost if there had been a conversation about it beforehand.

I would have been more open to sharing costs if we had discussed it when she built the fence, particularly if she had also contributed to her other neighbor’s shared side.

But, now they're wondering if the neighbor's request is fair. And this is the question they posed to the community.

On principle, is asking for half the original fence and staining expenses fair under these circumstances? Separately, is declining the connection, accepting the small gaps, and continuing to cooperate on maintenance a reasonable alternative to building a second fence immediately alongside hers?

They returned with an update in an edit to their original post, sharing how their investigation and search for the survey caps that mark the property boundary have left them with the impression that a part of the neighbor's fence is actually on their side.

This new information presented a further complication:

Edit: Turns out we have survey caps from when the houses were built. I found them and, if you draw a straight line, the corner of her fence is just ever so slightly on my property. So that makes this a bit more fun.

So what should they do?

It seems that the neighbor's position here is that the homeowner would gain from something that she had funded. 

The alternative is that the homeowner builds a parallel fence, which would present a substantial cost to them. Presumably far more than the $2,000, which represents just half of the cost to the neighbor to build a fence of the same length. Even if they built it cheaper, there is also the lost space to consider in building the fence in their own yard.

But half the original invoice is only the starting point for the negotiations. Since the homeowner had no say in the planning and building of the fence, in my opinion, paying a full half is far too much.

There is also a consideration to make regarding how repairs and maintenance would be handled. Who decides? Who pays?

As others have responded in the comments, the other neighbor's claimed experience with the neighbor in question just represents a target for the homeowner to latch their frustration onto, and doesn't really fairly reflect on the fairness in question with their own issue.

So what should they do? It's hard to say, legally, without knowing where they are. But when it comes to boundary disputes like this, the best thing in my experience and in the experience others have in this thread is to first get a survey done. 

Second, don't be too stubborn just because you're frustrated with your neighbor and cut off your nose to spite your face.